The Blessing of Anticipating Your Spouse's Needs - Crosswalk PLUS Marriage Devotional

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The Blessing of Anticipating Your Spouse’s Needs
By Jennifer Waddle

“Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” (Proverbs 11:25)

Have you ever noticed how loved you feel when your spouse meets a need before you ask? A thoughtful gesture, a helping hand, or a timely word of encouragement says, “I’m paying attention.”

For some people, this kind of intuitiveness comes naturally. Others find it more challenging to think ahead or recognize what’s needed in the moment. The good news is that anticipating your spouse’s needs isn’t simply a personality trait—it’s a skill that can be learned and strengthened over time.

As we become more mindful of our spouse’s routines, responsibilities, and struggles, we discover opportunities to serve them with greater intentionality. So, whether this comes easily to you or not, these practical ideas can help.

One helpful way of identifying your spouse’s needs is to identify your own. Make a list of things you need to function well, including meals, clean clothes, time with family, etc. Now, how does your list also apply to your spouse?

For example:

•    You need gas in the tank to get to work and back. What a blessing to find the tank already filled.

•    You need a healthy lunch to get through the afternoon. How thoughtful to have one prepared for you.

•    You’d like to unwind before hanging out with the family. How refreshing to be given the time and space to do that.

Evaluating your own needs gives you clues into your spouse’s wants and desires. As the familiar verse in Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” While simple, this is a powerful principle for couples wanting to create more intentionality in the relationship.

One of the greatest divides between couples is distraction, and social media is at the top of the list. How often do you see husbands and wives at restaurants, sitting across from one another, absorbed in their phones? Even smart watches can be a distraction for those who continually get alerts.

Giving our spouses our undivided attention communicates that they are valued and important to us. It fosters a sense of security and connection, reminding them that our relationship takes priority over the distractions competing for our attention. As an added benefit, spending less time on screens can improve our overall well-being, creating more opportunities for meaningful conversation and quality time together.

Start by leaving your phone in another room or turning it off during conversations. Ask thoughtful questions such as:

What was the best part of your day?

What is the Lord pressing on your heart?

What is something we can look forward to over the next couple of weeks?

Philippians 2:3-4 is a beautiful reminder, saying, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Many people find it helpful to make a to-do list the night before. It helps clear their mind before bed and gives them goals to meet throughout the day. So, why not do a nightly check-in of your spouse’s needs?

•    If they’ve been stressed at work, take care of dinner and dishes that week.

•    If they’ve been sick, clear their schedule for a day of rest.

•    If they want more family time, take a mini vacay.

•    If they’re working on health goals, support and encourage them.

Anticipating our spouse’s needs takes intention and effort, but once it becomes a habit, you’ll look for even more ways to bless them. As you implement even a few of these ideas, watch your spouse light up with joy and appreciation, leading to a stronger, more connected relationship.

Let’s Pray: 
Heavenly Father, please help me slow down long enough to notice and anticipate my spouse’s needs. Lord, I don’t want to live selfishly, but self-sacrificially. Bless my spouse with health, life, and joy as I commit to serving them as often as possible. Grow our marriage even deeper as we do life together and esteem one another above ourselves. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Application: Start a “Blessings Journal” by writing down ways to bless your spouse on a weekly basis. Record small, actionable ways to anticipate their needs and serve them with joy and gladness.

Challenge: What is one simple way you can intentionally notice and meet your spouse’s needs this week before they have to ask?

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/interstid

Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth. 

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